笑话1:
晚上下大雨,没路灯,电动车带媳妇回家,媳妇在后座上。。。。路上一水坑,车子狂颠一下,暗自庆幸没摔倒,骑出几里地,感觉哪里不对劲,车子轻了,一回头,媳妇呢
笑话2:
姐姐家有一窝小狗,你抱了一只漂亮的叫笑脸;我抱了一只丑的叫屁屁。一年后,你的笑脸和我的屁屁长的一样一样的。不仔细看,分不清谁是谁了。
笑话3:
从前有对夫妻,他们遇到了死神。
死神说:“你们两个只能活一个,你们猜拳吧,输的就得死。”
最后,丈夫输了…妻子抱着死去的丈夫说:
“说好一起出石头的,为什么我出了剪刀,你却出了布。”
这就是现实,这就是人心。
这就是一部分人的自私,一部分人的傻。
现实的世界,现实的人类,算计别人最后也就算计了自己。
当有些人傻乎乎地想输时,其实他已经赢了!
所以,一直善良下去……你就赢了!
做人还是厚道好!
笑话4:
有个楚国人坐船过江,不小心把剑掉落江中,他急忙用刀在船上刻了起来。船夫奇怪地问道:“你这是干吗?” 那人答道:“剑是从这个地方掉落的,我做个记号到岸了好找。” 船夫说道:“傻逼,那你至于凿那么大洞吗?都他妈漏了。”
笑话5:
five months older
the second world war had begun, and john wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. so when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
but john‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. this doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw john‘s papers, he was surprised.
"how old are you?" he said.
"eighteen, sir," said john.
"but your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "are you twins?"
"oh, no, sir," said john, and his face went red. "my brother is five months older than i am."
大五个月
第二次世界大战开始了,约翰想参军,可他只有十六岁,当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时,他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天,而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时,感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八,长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁,你们是双胞胎吗?”
约翰脸红了,说:“哦,不是,长官,我哥哥比我大五个月。”
名言
一家公司的目的是要让普通的人做不普通的事。
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