笑话1:
妻子:“哎,快到站了,有零钱吗?”
丈夫大惑不解:“你忘性真大。自打和你认识起,我口袋里就从来没有整张的!”
笑话2:
一小孩子坐在地上哭,嘴里哭喊着要妈妈伸手拉他起来,他妈妈却伸出一条腿给他说:“你自己抱着爬起来!”
结果宝宝哭着说:“呜呜,不行!”
他妈说:“那你要怎样?”
宝宝抽噎着回答:“我要抱那条腿!”
笑话3:
记得那年高考后,心知考得不怎么样,就对父亲如实说了考试成绩不理想等等。父亲无奈地说:“不行的话,就复读吧。” 这时坐在一旁的爷爷生气地说:“考不上就考不上,服什么毒啊?!”
笑话4:
be careful what you wish for
a couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
during the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
the wife wanted to travel around the world. the fairy waved her hand, and boom! she had the tickets in her hand.
next, it was the husband‘s turn. he paused for a moment, then said shyly, "well, i‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
the fairy picked up her wand, and boom! he was ninety.
慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中,一位仙女出现了。她说,由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻,因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“!”的一声,她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻,害羞地说,“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“!”,他变成了90岁。
笑话5:
midway tactics
three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
the retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "gigantic sale!" and "super bargains!"
the store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "prices slashed!" and "fantastic discounts!"
the owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "entrance".
中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。
笑话6:
班里同学一起登山,到达山顶一女生纵情大喊:祖国啊,我的母亲!暗恋她的一男生随即喊道:祖国啊,我的丈母娘!
笑话7:
小的时候,我们都长身体去了,所以很天真、很快乐。等长大了没什么可长的,就都长心眼去,就活得很累了。
名言
很多人不喜欢真实的答案,真实在某种程度意谓不愉快或不安,人们想听让他们不会忧虑的答案。
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