笑话1:
师说:“猪是一种很有用的动物,它的肉可以吃,它的皮可以做皮革,它的毛可以佬刷子,现在有谁说得出它还有其他用途吗?”
“老师,”一个学生站起来答,“它的名字可以骂人”
笑话2:
five months older
the second world war had begun, and john wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. so when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
but john‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. this doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw john‘s papers, he was surprised.
"how old are you?" he said.
"eighteen, sir," said john.
"but your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "are you twins?"
"oh, no, sir," said john, and his face went red. "my brother is five months older than i am."
大五个月
第二次世界大战开始了,约翰想参军,可他只有十六岁,当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时,他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天,而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时,感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八,长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁,你们是双胞胎吗?”
约翰脸红了,说:“哦,不是,长官,我哥哥比我大五个月。”
笑话3:
今天帮朋友了个忙,帮完后那货对我说:你的大恩大德这辈子报不了了,下辈子你做牛做马哥养着你!!!
笑话4:
某天晚上,也不是很晚,但天已经黑了,我妈突然要去我外婆家(不是很远)有点事,我爸就说:“我陪你去吧。”
我妈问:“为什么?”
我爸:“这么晚了,怕遇上打劫的~”
我妈像是抓住把柄了:“你不是说我长的这个样子劫匪都不敢碰我吗?”
我爸灰常淡定的说:“这么晚了,我怕劫匪看不清。。。”
笑话5:
“你tm能给我留点吗?”乌鸦对精卫怒吼道。
笑话6:
每个女孩的衣柜里都有一件衣服叫做:曾经买它穷成狗,如今嫌它穿着丑。
名言
我邀请人们在最无望的时刻,写下让他们感恩的事,即便是可笑的事物,像是绿草或在电梯中与人亲切的交谈。你将发现你是多么的富有。
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爱德华?布巴摄影师其实就是那个什么也没找到的人,可是他总是保持希望到最后一刻。这种希望激励着他,使他能坚持下去。摄影家能保持年轻,是因为他们一直到最后一刻,还希望能拍出一张成功的照片。安德烈?柯特兹相机是我的工具,经由它,我给予我周遭的所有事物一个理由。