笑话1:

单位组织体检,护士说领导心率一直不正常,遂请主任医师复检,复查后,主任和蔼地对护士说:以后把胸前的扣子扣好,可以提高工作效率。

笑话2:

上课一个同学提到“矫情”这个词,老师就问"矫情什么意思"。

一女汉字解释“比如说,老师你真漂亮。非要说成,哎呦喂,老师您真漂亮啊!这就是矫情!”

另一个女汉子受不了了“那个叫虚伪!”

笑话3:

父亲:“你知道为什么袋鼠的肚子前面有个袋子?”

小孩:“我想一定是用来装小袋鼠的。”

父亲:“但小袋鼠的肚子前面也有一个袋子,这又作何解释呢?”

小孩:“那肯定是用来装糖果的!”

笑话4:

有一天,我和家人坐着面包车去县城,在经过一个写着“种羊”两个字的广告牌时,我姐突然问了一句“羊是种出来的么?”

笑话5:

现代诗/《每天问一问自己究竟有没有努力》

自己:你有努力吗?

自己:没有,怎么的吧。

笑话6:

five months older

the second world war had begun, and john wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. so when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

but john‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. this doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw john‘s papers, he was surprised.

"how old are you?" he said.

"eighteen, sir," said john.

"but your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "are you twins?"

"oh, no, sir," said john, and his face went red. "my brother is five months older than i am."

大五个月

第二次世界大战开始了,约翰想参军,可他只有十六岁,当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时,他说他已经十八岁了。

可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天,而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时,感到非常惊奇。

“你多大了?”军医问。

“十八,长官。”约翰说。

“可你的哥哥也是十八岁,你们是双胞胎吗?”

约翰脸红了,说:“哦,不是,长官,我哥哥比我大五个月。”

名言

学习从别人的灾难中看到你该避免的弊端。

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